Outdoor Decorating Gifts

"She's had a lot of work done."

'I told you you underpaid the gardener who planted these bulbs.'

Hedge Car

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

Painting clouds

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

"Garden variety allergies."

"I do like a plant that can hold its drink"

"It's a cookout-act stupid!"

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

"Oh no, it's Flash Garden!"

Beer Garden Kit

'I was wondering if you could take this box of squirrels and make something cool with them, like a wolf?'

Windchimes

'The grass is always greener on the other side seed'.

"After going vegan, replacing all the animal heads just made sense.'

Bird family on top of birdhouse surveying back yard: 'This place has all the amenities, including a master bath in the yard by the Zinnias.'

'To be honest, I'm sorry I ever asked him for a water feature. . .'

Artist paints an artist.

'What if your tree grows, Burl? Won't it choke to death?'

"There's always someone who goes over the top with their rooftop decorations."

"...And then beyond the lawn, a lily pool with fountains and..."

Time Table

'Joe said he had some special bulbs.'

Landscape artist

An occassional clean out should prevent unpleasant smells.

'Seeing the Winterton's Japanese garden gave us the idea. It's a Kamikaze replica. Full size.'

"I like your garden humans"

'We thought gnomes would be a little common'.

See Gnome Evil, Hear Gnome Evil, Speak Gnome Evil.

Early Signs of Spring - Your neighbor's wreath is turning a brighter yellow.