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"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

"We need to make it through at least one movie, so we have something to root for during the Oscars."

Tom Hanks

'And the Award goes to...Ewww...him?'

May I have the envelope, please?

'Most of all, I'd like to thank god. . .'

"Did you know that the average mainstream news portal devotes more space to the oscar in a day than to climate change coverage in the entire year?"

Barbie Oscars

"We'll go for a nice space-walk later on."

Djargo.

Will Smith's Oscar

"At an event some chick publicly badmouthed my husband. I didn't run on stage to knock the lady down because she was right."

'We worship celebrity!' People bow down in front of a TV showing the academy awards.

"Come in guys....the water is so warm."

Power of the dog

"I was awarded this Oscar for my presentation of an Oscar at the Oscars."

"Amanda!! Pay attention!...You're drifting out of formation again!!!"

Michael Phelps just kicked the doggie doo out of us.

'I'm letting the carpenters watch the Olympic hammer throw.'