Orthodox Observer Gifts

"Hello there. I'm the bluebird of Orthodox Judaism. What do you say you get up, you put on t'fillin and you daven this morning?"

"Hey! Where's that black cat? My ride's ready!"

'As I see it, our choices are 'no' and 'hell no'.'

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

"On the contrary, Bosworth, it's YOU who has lost all perspective."

'Look, I said I'd bring you the report on micromanaging. Just give me a chance.'

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

"I'm more of an 'I like to watch' dog."

AI Summit

Fortunes. Tarot. Palms. You punched the fortune teller just because he was smiling? I always wanted to strike a happy medium.

Gone to seed.

Kangaroo with a smoking baby.

"You didn't post anything on social media today. So, the church sent someone over to witness miracle."

'Man, when was the last time you had your eyes tested?'

Bizarre sights.

"Yeah, right, Noah. Like THAT'S gonna work!"

'Why is there a 'Like' button but no 'Despise' button?'

'He was a shooting star, passing through the firmament. Lighting up our dull lives with his all too brief presence.' 'I think we're at the wrong funeral.'

Iraq War inquiry denied secret Bush-Blair documents.

'Have your daily bread every other day.'

Oculist.

Man sees line of priests entering Mass Transit Authority.

If a tweet is sent out and no one signs up to read it, does it exist? Happens millions of times a day.

'I'm new up here...where are the men?'

'I say, it really shows off your astigmatism to its greatest advantage, doesn't it?'

"Please do not feed the animals." "Please do not eat the people."

'How can you be so cheap?'

"Good lord! Four of my dearest Facebook friends died last week!"

"You've done some outstanding work in Public Relations, Benderman. Unfortunately, you work in Accounting.!

'The exercise hasn't been a total failure. My personal trainer lost 10 pounds.'

Opposing viewpoint.

'Man, you are the first parole office to truly understand me.'

"It's 6 o'clock. Do you know what's trending now?"

"Do you have an opinion on opinion polls?"

End of the Pier Show