Occult Observer Gifts

"How much should we f**k with her tonight?"

"Hey! Where's that black cat? My ride's ready!"

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

Fortunes. Tarot. Palms. You punched the fortune teller just because he was smiling? I always wanted to strike a happy medium.

Man changes from angel to devil in police line up.

Tarot Lying

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

The Adventures of God

Clownfish entertain sea life by hitting each other in the face with octopi.

"He doesn’t say much, but he thinks a lot."

"Yes, that's the tree with all the squirrels from yesterday. And no, I don't know where they are today."

'Thank goodness for clumsy children: A spilt ice-cream!'

Magic Act

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

"What should we do with this extra part?"

Amateur Palmist

'Perhaps I was a bit too graphic in describing the surgical procedure.'

A football game appears on the operating theatres monitor instead of the patients heartbeat.

"Of course I attend the meetings but I'm more of a lurker,"

'Can't talk now, I'm just going into a tunnel.'

'Crabs, sharks, octopi...'

"We’re having privacy concerns with your omniscience."

Chess on TV

Bizarre sights.

'Man, when was the last time you had your eyes tested?'

The whole ambience of the research trip was ruined by Harold's squeaky boots!

"You didn't post anything on social media today. So, the church sent someone over to witness miracle."

"Don't look now, but in 3 seconds I want you to very nonchalantly look at my tail and tell me if it's wagging."

'Why is there a 'Like' button but no 'Despise' button?'

"Your life will soon resemble a soggy old clump of leaves."

'Let's arbitrate.'

'It's quiet... Too quiet.'

'I say, it really shows off your astigmatism to its greatest advantage, doesn't it?'

Oculist.