Opulent Observer Gifts

Lady Gold's Escort- Social Satire Featuring Exageratted Evening Dress

"I've never objected to paying tax... as long as it's other people paying."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"Hey! Where's that black cat? My ride's ready!"

A Macaroni in 1772

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

'As I see it, our choices are 'no' and 'hell no'.'

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

"Tinnitus?"

Scientist seen on loch.

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

'If I lived there, the first thing I'd do is have my head examined.'

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

'This condo is the height of luxury, The sprinkler system sprays Perrier,'

'Perhaps I was a bit too graphic in describing the surgical procedure.'

A football game appears on the operating theatres monitor instead of the patients heartbeat.

A child and a babysitter gazing out of a window

Fortunes. Tarot. Palms. You punched the fortune teller just because he was smiling? I always wanted to strike a happy medium.

Cat going to litter box with newspaper to read.

'Man, when was the last time you had your eyes tested?'

The Mortons: It's all about our money.

Bizarre sights.

'I like to use the Law as a jumping off point.'

'I usually fly first class but it doesn't compare to this super-duper, extra special, state-of-the-art, WOW class.'

The Great Catsby.

'How can you be so cheap?'

Oculist.

'Going bald isn't all bad - just think, you'll never have dandruff again!'

'I say, it really shows off your astigmatism to its greatest advantage, doesn't it?'

Neuro Surgery. Staff only. Sorry, that took longer than I expected --- He has a lot of nerve!

Russian bombers in California

'The doctors said you were so nervous about the operation they had to give you a tranquiliser.'

"Yee-ouch! That's gotta hurt."

'You're wrong - this is brain surgery!'

"Dr. Cosgrove will be here in a minute. He's been cramming for this operation."