Organization Critic Pillows

"You call this all in a row?!"

Armstrong, the only doctor covered in the new health plan you got me is a veterinarian! Beats no coverage. Yeah, if you're a parakeet. You're so cheap. You don't value me at all. You ingrate. I didn't have to give you health benefits. Lots of employers don't cover their animals. You mean workers. Stop your barking.

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

"That's six 'noes' and one 'aye', the ayes have it"

"You knew this was a soul-sucking job when you took it."

"They found a use for that old paper shredder."

"Of course we'll give you a choice. Would you prefer to lose your job to outsourcing or to robotic automation?"

"But if you were a real boy you wouldn't be allowed to work such long hours."

'Does anyone else have any complaints?'

Boss: Suggestion Box Bin

"Well, I'm the company sports champion! During the lunch break I ate more hamburgers than any other colleague!"

About 40% of the nation's coronavirus deaths could have been prevented...

"I've given up trying to be on top of things."

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."

"What are your other qualifications besides 'my daddy owns the company'?"

"Here's your hourly job performance review."

'As you know, Wilson, our CEO screwed up big time, so he was fired and gets a big bonus. But because of his mistakes, you just get fired.'

"I don't make the rules around here. I just enshrine them."

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

Waste Management.

'If there's one thing I've learnt from being a good manager, it's taking credit where it isn't due!'

'He always has your back - - - but it's mostly to step on.'

"And once we wipe out the disease, where does that leave us?"

'Who vetted that leader?'

"It's the new management structure, the worker's the one at the bottom..."

Who's In Charge Here?

'Our company hasn't changed much over the years. Most ideas still come from the top.'

'How can the employees accuse me of running a sweatshop? Don't I let them go home after midnight?'

Suggestion box, one for suggestions and one for 'clean' suggestions.

Covid-19 Leadership

The Buck Stops Here.

"Well the good news is that we came top in at least one category of the latest diversity tables..."

'Finally, here's your chance to do something extraordinarily good for our company - quit and start working for the competitor!'

Employer of the month...and every month.

"The key is to keep the momentum going when you're establishing the base of the snowman..."