Organizational Commentator Pillows

'This demonstrates our blame flow.'

Human resources/Dehumanised resources.

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

'Office' block tightening it's belt

"...But of course we'll still be friends on Facebook!"

"Of course we'll give you a choice. Would you prefer to lose your job to outsourcing or to robotic automation?"

'Tesco's cheif executive meets with staff.'

Smoke and mirrors.

"Shankar, I needed someone to dot the 'I's' and cross the 'T's' but that was before there was ChatGPT."

'We're looking for impartial people who think the way we do.'

"So how did the rest of the team respond to your promotion?"

"Yoo hoo, the meeting's over here."

"Miss Jones, bring me into the 21st century..."

"No more thinking outside the box Bamford. From now on I want you to do all your thinking inside your box!"

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

'If your boss is so dumb, daddy, why did he hire you?'

'Actually, I was hoping for a more inspiring mission statement.'

"I liked it better when you used gobbledygook."

'Was my salary expectation a bit too high?'

'You said you wanted more responsibility, so I'm making you responsible for everything that goes wrong.'

'I wouldn't worry about the retirement plan. You'd have to be out of your mind to work here that long.'

"You're an overweight, overpaid, over-the-hill senior executive, Dalrymple. What did you have in mind to remedy that situation?"

"We need to make some cuts. We’ll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'Being taller than me will get you nowhere.'

'Great visual support.'

"I absolutely refuse to be surrounded by yes men, do I make myself perfectly clear?"

''Benefit of the doubt' was our only benefit and now, the company has sent it offshore.'

People, what a fantastic opportunity for a reset!

"We added it just for the millenials."

'Shift our strategy? I didn't know we had any strategy.'

'Never roll your eyes while the boss is talking.'

"The beatings will continue until the morale improves!"