Orders Gifts

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"Whose idea was it to start with the Hallelujah chorus?"

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

'... and bless all of God's creatures with the possible exception of the greenfly...'

'I've got two tickets to Handel's Messiah -- What time do you get off work?'

'How is the water prepared?'

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

Monk Prompt

'No, I will not entertain a motion to suspend the rules!'

'I think I've now earned the right to wear God on my sleeve.'

'God does not call the qualified. He koala-fies the called.'

'Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?'

"Hired! You're just what we need in our budget office!"

Woman puts a targeting sight on her vacuum cleaner.

"That Feng Shui class I took is paying off!"

'...and this is the Mess.'

"We're in deep trouble... there are some people quoting back to us what we taught them."

Angry vicar wakes up parishioner at the Harvest Festival

'Pop-up Bible.'

"... with a side of brown rice, right. And can the delivery guy stop at the pharmacy and pick up my prescription?"

The Complete Cycle.

Priest

'Look at all of God's children. Then again, they might be just thousands of tiny, little circles.'

When the traditional and contemporary services overlap.

Clerical Training Course - 'Gentlemen, we are here to practise what we preach.'

'Well, for the sake of argument, just pretend you've done something wicked.'

"And if you look to the right you'll see what happens if you disrupt my class."

Church Hymn

'This is the Rabbi's favourite.'

File room: A subsidiary of the black hole of the universe