Order In The Court Fan Gifts

'We find the defendant guilty. Do you have a problem with that?'

Trial by Media

You can take the boy out of Wimbledon...

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

'Now, you can SWASH, and you can BUCKLE, but you can't SWASHBUCKLE.'

"We understand you wish to report a crime Madam? I'm Inspector La Garde and this is my able assistant Defective Constable Wallis."

"Apparently, you have very little respect for our judicial system, sauntering in here with only one lawyer."

'Your direction is good! Now try for distance.'

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

"It was a crime of passion, not the defendant's offense, out verdict."

'I'd do better if I knew all the words you know!'

Arrest of La Tuta

It's a tradition. On hole number 1 in the first round of the season, Ernie always says that's the best shot I've hit this year!

"It's been in self-drive mode all morning, maybe it's not programmed to recognise stop signs?"

"Not good, your honor. My client is supposed to be executed a week before that court date."

'Okay, just be patient -- it could be months before they learn to obey all of these.'

"I suppose you're like me, only signed up for the free uniform."

'I'd better start on your appeal.'

'Grown-ups sure make playing a lot of work.'

Low Class Action Suit

"I feel like I play better on clay."

'Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?'

'There you go, bringing up the PAST again!'

Caddy With A Cool Box

Must you be so judgmental?

A man holding a golf club eying up his shot

Containment Cops

"I'm not technically a quote-unquote lawyer, but I do own a paper shredder and have visited several prisons."

How to avoid law.

'So if it goes to the right it's a slice, to the left it's a hook...and down the center.'

'I called them, and told them what you were going to do tomorrow! '

Rory McIlroy

"It was an ambush Sheriff, Injuns, didn't see what tribe, but they were real young!"

'I think we'd better work on that swing.'

Idenity Parade.