Order In The Court Fan Prints

'We find the defendant guilty. Do you have a problem with that?'

Trial by Media

You can take the boy out of Wimbledon...

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

"We understand you wish to report a crime Madam? I'm Inspector La Garde and this is my able assistant Defective Constable Wallis."

'Now, you can SWASH, and you can BUCKLE, but you can't SWASHBUCKLE.'

"Apparently, you have very little respect for our judicial system, sauntering in here with only one lawyer."

'Your direction is good! Now try for distance.'

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

Arrest of La Tuta

'I'd do better if I knew all the words you know!'

"It was a crime of passion, not the defendant's offense, out verdict."

"Not good, your honor. My client is supposed to be executed a week before that court date."

'I'd better start on your appeal.'

'Grown-ups sure make playing a lot of work.'

"I suppose you're like me, only signed up for the free uniform."

'Okay, just be patient -- it could be months before they learn to obey all of these.'

"It's been in self-drive mode all morning, maybe it's not programmed to recognise stop signs?"

Low Class Action Suit

'Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?'

"I feel like I play better on clay."

A man holding a golf club eying up his shot

Caddy With A Cool Box

Must you be so judgmental?

'There you go, bringing up the PAST again!'

"I'm not technically a quote-unquote lawyer, but I do own a paper shredder and have visited several prisons."

How to avoid law.

'So if it goes to the right it's a slice, to the left it's a hook...and down the center.'

'I called them, and told them what you were going to do tomorrow! '

"It was an ambush Sheriff, Injuns, didn't see what tribe, but they were real young!"

Idenity Parade.

'I think we'd better work on that swing.'

'Look your honor - we're all felons here, right?'