Court Tv Fan Gifts

"That one is the hold out juror who made the trial last so long."

You can take the boy out of Wimbledon...

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

"I don't think you can get a peace prize for ending a war that you started."

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

'Then if there are no objections, we will recess until tomorrow morning.'

"It was a crime of passion, not the defendant's offense, out verdict."

'From left to right: witchfinder general, jester jocular and spouse peculiar.'

'We find the defendant guilty. Do you have a problem with that?'

"May I suggest we up your medication, sire.

'Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?'

"I feel like I play better on clay."

"Popular astrologer and psychic Malder Tercado's contract with a national Spanish-language TV network was not renewed. Tercado was reportedly surprised by the news...saying he didn't see it coming."

"And then at 3 you have a meeting with the royal pain in the butt."

You're in luck - The 5-second rule is not legally binding. Donuts.

'I'd like to buy a towel.'

'Happy 50th PBS.'

Catch-22

'There you go, bringing up the PAST again!'

"I'm not technically a quote-unquote lawyer, but I do own a paper shredder and have visited several prisons."

How to avoid law.

They watch for a while, then, unlike humans, they get bored.

'Having a lot of underlings doesn't make you an overling!'

"You are supposed to put the bells on the pigs bladder not on yours!"

'Look your honor - we're all felons here, right?'

"If I may say so, sire, that is ONE Magna Carta."

Pre-Minstrel Tension

"Welcome Ruth!"

'Please turn it down - Daddy's trying to do your homework.'

'Working from home is great! You can keep your mind occupied watching daytime TV.'

'Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you Godzilla?'

'I'm running away from home as soon as the next commercial comes on!'

Woman in frozen food isle see a sign: TV Dinners over a case, the dinners are marked CABLE, Dish, Analog.

"Your honor, we find the defendant quilty on all counts."

'A gang of senior citizens was arrested today for harassing freshmen....'