Public Tv Fan Gifts

'Your new identity will be of a public TV fundraiser.. nobody pays any attention to them.'

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

' Can I borrow change for the bus? With the cost of gas, I just can't justify buzzing around the city in that thing.'

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'

"No, no, the way you're shifting your papers - it's all wrong."

New symbol for Public TV: 'The tin cup' (PBS)

It's on. My new favorite game show! Welcome to: Garbage, recycling or compost?! Dana from New York you can walk away with $10,000 or try to double the green! Double, please. Okay, Dana, here's your object: A takeout container from a local restaurant. Garbage, recycling or compost? Geez. I'm guessing it would depend on whether it's got some cardboard or it's fully biodegradable. Final answer? Recycling. Wrong. Garbage! I knew it. Ridicule her! You've lost your green, loser! I'm sorry. I try so ha

News Wear World

Cleaning up after a statue.

"Popular astrologer and psychic Malder Tercado's contract with a national Spanish-language TV network was not renewed. Tercado was reportedly surprised by the news...saying he didn't see it coming."

'I'd like to buy a towel.'

'Happy 50th PBS.'

"We ought to send PBS some money so it can afford better pledge-break specials."

"We interrupt this programme to warn viewers that programmes may sometimes be interrupted."

'In honor of the Bureau of Missing Persons'

They watch for a while, then, unlike humans, they get bored.

Lord Robert Winston

'Please turn it down - Daddy's trying to do your homework.'

'I like your style - How would you like to do some public service announcements?'

'Working from home is great! You can keep your mind occupied watching daytime TV.'

Batman getting the subway

The Masterpiece Theatre Gang

'I'm running away from home as soon as the next commercial comes on!'

'Isn't that the famous dog you see in all these TV-commercials?'

Woman in frozen food isle see a sign: TV Dinners over a case, the dinners are marked CABLE, Dish, Analog.

'A gang of senior citizens was arrested today for harassing freshmen....'

"Why don't you take a break, Tia Carmen? You're working way too hard."

'Press the red button for the 'no grunt' option...'

'You know the king on that burger commercial? I find him very disturbing.'

Last Stage of Human Evolution wonders "Where's my TV?"

My agent got me an audition for a part on "The Young and the Restless"! Well, since you're no longer young, I assume you'll be trying out for the part of "restless."

Shakespeare lost in the subway. E. F. Tube "E" or not tube "E"? Underground. London Times.

"The preceding PBS program was funded by do-gooders...not by freeloaders like yourself."

'Please! -- if you don't send a generous contribution to this Public Television station right away, we'll all have to go out and get real jobs!'