Public Television Fans Gifts

"We ought to send PBS some money so it can afford better pledge-break specials."

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

"BBC One’s Casualty has reached its 1000th episode. The long-running hospital drama is apparently very popular with viewers... But even more popular among jobbing actors."

"Grandma's TV is so old it wasn't made in a foreign country."

'With the kind cooperation of the underworld, we present live, for the first time on TV, an actual holdup.'

TV Situations vacant.

Moses' TV guide.

"Well, now we know what Letterman's doing, what are we doing?"

'We have lost the video and voice audio, but will continue with the laugh track.'

A castaway on an island with an old TV that's washed ashore, sees two men in an approaching boat marked, 'TV Licensing'.

"Whatever happened to traditional marriages? There they are...on national television...with millions of people watching...two women getting married! And they're both wearing blue jeans!"

Liz Hurley

It's on. My new favorite game show! Welcome to: Garbage, recycling or compost?! Dana from New York you can walk away with $10,000 or try to double the green! Double, please. Okay, Dana, here's your object: A takeout container from a local restaurant. Garbage, recycling or compost? Geez. I'm guessing it would depend on whether it's got some cardboard or it's fully biodegradable. Final answer? Recycling. Wrong. Garbage! I knew it. Ridicule her! You've lost your green, loser! I'm sorry. I try so ha

New symbol for Public TV: 'The tin cup' (PBS)

I lost as a contestant on the quiz show, but they gave me this lovely parting gift...

"I know I say it in every episode, Carson, but the world is changing and we have to change with it."

Filmed in Supermarionation

'Well, it WAS worth nine thousand dollars. Sorry about that.'

Richard Hammond.

Dragon's Den

'Happy 50th PBS.'

'PBS is weird -- they just ran an eight-hour commercial about how they never have commercials.'

'If you smiled in the mornings, you'd come up in the ratings, too.'

99 Dalmations - Edited for television.

'Let's see what's on the war channel...'

'You are tuned to the 24 hour Paris Hilton Channel.'

'Too much TV, maybe. Is there a John Wane marathon going on?'

Baby in carrier is watching TV on dad's back.

"We've had to rename it, no one watches talk shows anymore."

"This Fall on NBC: Fish Out of Water"

Televised Insomnia Benefit Telethon puts couple to sleep.

Plato's Dialogues & Letterman's Monologues.

"Funding for 'Nova' is provided by Merck and Lockheed, by the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, and by annual financial support from viewers like you."

'Tell you what, if you show us how to switch channels, you can join our club.'

I got a dish, but it only picks up the Food Channel.