Orchard Visits T-Shirts

"We need to find another fall activity to do with the kids."

Empty Nester Apple Picking - "Not THAT one, you idiot!"

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

The Teen Years of A Red Delicious.

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

Tree Passion

The Music Seed

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

"Hey, I got you a beautiful orchid to cheer you up until it turns into just a stick protruding from dirt."

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

Guitar pickin'

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

'You don't have to drive around. We bring the food to your table.'

"This time when they show us their latest acquisition, we'll gush regardless."

The Apple Picker Doesn't Fall Far From The Tree....

What your house plant says about you...

'Pass the grey stuff.'

"Hang on a tick, lads, what have we here?"

Dispose of unproductive fruit trees.

"Great God Almighty! Somebody please wake me up and tell me I'm only dreaming that the chicken marsala costs a whopping twenty-eight ninety-five!"

Flava Superba

'The biggest problem in this business is convincing your wife that money doesn't grow on trees.'

"What do you recommend today?"

I'll try the cod surprise.

Continental Breakfast...$2.99: 'What continent is THIS supposed to represent?'

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"Is it fresh?"

"You folks ready to order?"

'No, no... I ordered a tart, not a tort!'

'All right, I agree with you.'