Orange Squeezer Gifts

JERRY SPRINGER'S GUESTS TODAY

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

'Eight wiener dogs, and six rolls. It's just not right.'

'Come and get it!'

"More?"

Easy chair exercise machines

'I spent my bonus on changing my spots.'

Getting ready for spring

Sleep Clinic. ZZZZZZ. We can tell a lot about somebody's sleep by the sounds they make. This subject is experiencing normal, restful sleep. YYYYYY. He's having fitful sleep because his girlfriend dumped him. MMMMMM. It looks a lot like he's having a dream about a delicious meal. BBBBBB. This gardener is having a nightmare about disturbing a hive. And what's happening here? I think he's look forward to "talk like a pirate day"! RRRRRR.

"Sit in the car. The doctor will be with you shortly to treat your road rage."

You're right. Winter in Florida sounds better every year.

"Excuse me, One has not actually signed the agreement yet!"

Mother Nature's awkward secret: pollen allergies.

"Dad's allergies kicked in during out special 'man to man' walk...so I learned all about the birds and the sneeze."

Dave always likes to amuse himself by accusing the sausages of heresy before he throws them on the fire!

"Take a long drink, son. Someday it will all be yours."

Chugger

'Well, Carrie, it's great that you were able to express some of those repressed emotions!'

'How can I be sure I'm getting 100 pure orange juice?' - 'Buy an orange.'

Tesco Litigation Dept - 'They're suing me for going to Sainsburys.'

Mob Rules

Allergy Clinic: Summertime and the Living is Wheezy.

"These decorative watermelons are tastier."

'No alcohol for me thanks: I see enough mirages as it is...'

A moocher borrows a cup of sugar to make a sponge cake.

Cook-In.

'Make do with those until yours come back.'

"He's gone home for the night. Is it squeegee-related?"

Yes, the world would be a different place if I hadn't taken that wrath management class.

Organizational meeting

'We were really running late this morning. All we had time for was a slice of orange juice.'

"I have to admit, I enjoyed that fruity concoction you convinced me to try."

"Anger management classes have gotten me through the whole red thing."

'Thank you for sharing the squeegee.'

The Specials