Orange Squeezer Gifts

JERRY SPRINGER'S GUESTS TODAY

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

'Eight wiener dogs, and six rolls. It's just not right.'

'Come and get it!'

Easy chair exercise machines

'I spent my bonus on changing my spots.'

Getting ready for spring

"Sit in the car. The doctor will be with you shortly to treat your road rage."

"Excuse me, One has not actually signed the agreement yet!"

Dave always likes to amuse himself by accusing the sausages of heresy before he throws them on the fire!

Mother Nature's awkward secret: pollen allergies.

"Dad's allergies kicked in during out special 'man to man' walk...so I learned all about the birds and the sneeze."

"Take a long drink, son. Someday it will all be yours."

Chugger

'Well, Carrie, it's great that you were able to express some of those repressed emotions!'

'How can I be sure I'm getting 100 pure orange juice?' - 'Buy an orange.'

Allergy Clinic: Summertime and the Living is Wheezy.

Mob Rules

"These decorative watermelons are tastier."

A moocher borrows a cup of sugar to make a sponge cake.

'No alcohol for me thanks: I see enough mirages as it is...'

Cook-In.

'Make do with those until yours come back.'

"He's gone home for the night. Is it squeegee-related?"

'We were really running late this morning. All we had time for was a slice of orange juice.'

"I have to admit, I enjoyed that fruity concoction you convinced me to try."

Organizational meeting

'Thank you for sharing the squeegee.'

The Specials

"Bad news. That liquid dripping from your new car is lemon juice."