Lemon Squeezer Gifts

"Bad news. That liquid dripping from your new car is lemon juice."

MUM! No one wanted to buy my cowpats

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

'You gonna finish that lemon peel?'

Lemon centerpieces: $50 each

"We can't pay mom back for all these lemons...lets declare Chapter 11!"

Easy chair exercise machines

Lox Ness Monster

'I spent my bonus on changing my spots.'

'Can't you squeeze me in?'

'I'm hoping that this will take off and I will earn enough to pay my way through medical school some day.'

JERRY SPRINGER'S GUESTS TODAY

"The only lemons we use now are to flavor the rim of your espresso."

'I like going to parties - invited or not.'

Quick gin. Sloe gin

'I try to get this place smelling of cat and she wants it to pong of lemon.'

'How much gin will I need for three medium size lemons?'

Driving a Lemon.

"If they gave us lemons, you'd make lemonade, but I'd make limoncello."

Pencil Peaock

"Giddyup!. . . Damn. I think I just wasted 500 bucks."

One Armed Bandit

"Please visit our website and tell us about your experience with this sale. You can win a gift card good for a free glass of lemonade."

"$100 for a lemon? Are you crazy?!"

On this Day in 1959 Life suddenly gave lemons to Bob Muscovitch, a Detroit engineer. Sadly, Bob did not have a chance to make lemonade.

'This baby has tilt steering, natural air and plenty of head room.'

'He makes his own gin too.'

'We don't need our own stand. Just have your mom buy all the lemons at the store so we've cornered the market and can name our price!'

"So, has Grandpa's 'longevity pay' kicked in yet?"

Dryer Sheets: Lemon (scented).

Lemon-Aid. Oh, we're not selling anything. We're collecting money for endangered lemon trees!

'Still musn't grumble it could be worse!'

"One last fetch but then I eat the cantaloupe."

Leek club darts match.

Woman Driving a Lemon.