Oral Health Fanatics Gifts

Waddle Orthodontics - Put your money where your mouth is.

No Cavity Club/No New Gum Receding Club

'Did you use mouthwash this morning?'

Dentist's Office: 'I know that $3,280 hurt you more than it did me, Dad.'

"My husband Frank still has all his own teeth...he keeps them in that jar over the fireplace!"

Floss Street Vendor

The inscription says: 'Whiter teeth; fresher breath.'

'You're not supposed to use 'dental floss' on dentures!'

Things you forgot to tell me about getting older: "You're going to need bigger tooth floss."

'I don't like the mediciney taste of this mouthwash either. I hate that taste of eyes of newt and turtle brains first thing in the morning.'

'...your teeth are putting on weight.'

'I still have all my own teeth.'

'Mind that molar, careful of that canine...'

'Most of the dental floss gets thrown out on used. No wonder I'm always broke.'

Grassy breath?

They all have one thing in common...they all have bad breath.

'You should have come to me sooner.'

'You need to chuck more wood.'

'I used some of that stripy toothpaste. Now I have striped teeth!'

Dentist as Sherlock Holmes investigating a patient's mouth

' ... plus you need to floss better.'

"Thanks, Doc- you've put me back in business."

"Don't get too excited. Getting a filling does not make you a cyborg."

'I know! He has the worst breath!'

Toothbrush Superhero.

"If you won't brush or floss could you at least run your tongue over your teeth once in a while?"

"Trust me, the best beauty tip is to get a good toothpaste and brush your teeth twice a day: it will keep you looking young. . ."

"So, you see, what you were really looking for was a deeper connection with your father, and not the dentist's office down the hall."

Want to be like 'White Fang'? Brush with Calgote!

'I need a new tooth brush.'

A hasty waste or tasty paste.

'-and who's next?'

'After scraping my tongue, flossing my teeth, brushing my teeth, whitening my teeth and gargling, I'm hungry all over again!'

'I'm sick of people always saying you're better than me!'

The bad news is that your teeth are shot. The good news is that you have the uvula of a man half your age.'