Optomologist Pillows

"Worse."

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight.

'Oh dear. He's got my eyes.'

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

'They might look sexy and seductive but all I want to do is the crossword.'

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Mracula'.'

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

"Picasso: Post cataract surgery."

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

Man blending in to his chair is reading Optical Illusion Monthly magazine.

'No, I'm sorry, Danny. I'm afraid your dad won't be able to shoot laser beams from his eyes after surgery.'

Pirate eye test

'Could you pass me my - oh thankyou.'

'Despite his laser eye surgery, he still doesn't see the mess he leaves in the living room every day.'

'They're right.polorized sunglasses do help you see better underwater.'

"All other letters have been disallowed."

Hospital Departments

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

'Wait! Wait a minute! Would you hold my glasses?'

"Why would I want to see anything that far away from my phone?"

'Have you tried removing the blindfold?'

'When are you going to admit you need glasses?'

'He wasn't doing a bit good, until I changed his glasses.'

The latest in Eyewear.