Ophthalmologists Pillows

"I just got these new glasses from my ophthalmologist – they come with tiny windshield wipers to clean the fog from my mask!"

"Well, at least one of us passed the emoji eye exam..."

"Thanks to my new glasses, I can enjoy a good old "bird's eye view" again..."

"How about this line?"

"Okay, I guess we can turn down the tonometer air pressure just a tad."

'Sit down, Dave. You're not impressing anyone with your new laser-eye treatment.'

"Those visions of sugar plums aren't an eye problem. You're just in the holiday spirit."

"With the new year approaching, I was hoping you could help with my resolution...."

'Umm.... do you have an audio chart available for the visually impaired?'

"I'll have to run some tests on your irritated eyes, but just how much time do you spend staring at electronic devices?"

"I'm getting ready to have my fortune read to see my future, but first I want to make sure I can see clearly."

"You can always tell when we have new patients who need glasses."

A new brand of snacks popular with Optometrists.

After her laser surgery, Alice was able to read barcodes without an optical scanner.

"Congratulations! You passed your eye exam with perfect 20/20/20/20/20/20/20/20 vision!"

Opticians Sign With Modern Text Acronyms

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight.

'They might look sexy and seductive but all I want to do is the crossword.'

'Oh dear. He's got my eyes.'

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Mracula'.'

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

Man blending in to his chair is reading Optical Illusion Monthly magazine.

"Picasso: Post cataract surgery."

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

'No, I'm sorry, Danny. I'm afraid your dad won't be able to shoot laser beams from his eyes after surgery.'

Pirate eye test

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

'Could you pass me my - oh thankyou.'

"All other letters have been disallowed."