Ophthalmic Surgeon Pillows

"'Whites whiter, colors vivid and bright'. Is this laundry detergent of cataract surgery?"

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight.

'Oh dear. He's got my eyes.'

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

"Pollyanna, your teeth are shot. Stop sugar coating everything!"

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

'They might look sexy and seductive but all I want to do is the crossword.'

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Mracula'.'

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

Man blending in to his chair is reading Optical Illusion Monthly magazine.

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

"Picasso: Post cataract surgery."

'No, I'm sorry, Danny. I'm afraid your dad won't be able to shoot laser beams from his eyes after surgery.'

Pirate eye test

'They're right.polorized sunglasses do help you see better underwater.'

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

Hospital Departments

'Despite his laser eye surgery, he still doesn't see the mess he leaves in the living room every day.'

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

"All other letters have been disallowed."

'Could you pass me my - oh thankyou.'

'Wait! Wait a minute! Would you hold my glasses?'

"Why would I want to see anything that far away from my phone?"

'Have you tried removing the blindfold?'

'When are you going to admit you need glasses?'