Eye Specialist Pillows

'No, it doesn't connect to an X-box!'

"You have tiny websites burned onto your retinas!"

"I was at a party and got some avocado dip in my eye..."

Eye Test with Myopic Optician

"I am an ophthalmologist."

Eye Clinic: If you can't read this you've come to the right place.

"Your main problem is that instead of a set of complex organs composed of specialized sensory cells and sophisticated nerve structures, you've got two pieces of coal."

"I wish you'd have made your appointment a little sooner."

'You are on a sickie you skiving little...'

OPtometry. They said my eyesight is terrible and need to get glasses. I'll bet you didn't see that coming!

"Your problem isn't the prescription."

"Stop reading political comments on social media!"

'I'd say your vision is being affected by an arrow through your head, but perhaps you'd like to get a second opinion from an eye specialist.'

Dr. B.R. Shutin. Optician.

'About this new eye test card you're designing.'

'After a close examination I think I know why Tabatha keeps wandering onto busy roads.'

'I'm looking as young as 20 years ago? Honey, promise me not to see an eye specialist for the next 20 years!'

"Double vision! Are you sure?"

"I can't see the wood for the trees."

Opticians

Optometry. I understand you're trying to add a little culture here, but using impressionist paintings for vision checks is not a good idea.

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight.

'Oh dear. He's got my eyes.'

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

Lost. Readi

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

'They might look sexy and seductive but all I want to do is the crossword.'

Love is Blind.

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

Man blending in to his chair is reading Optical Illusion Monthly magazine.

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."