Eye Expert Pillows

Optician: 'I can't seem to switch off.'

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

'Oh dear. He's got my eyes.'

Love is Blind.

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

"All other letters have been disallowed."

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

'Before we get started, let's go around the table and practice making eye contact.'

'Wait! Wait a minute! Would you hold my glasses?'

'...better or worse...better or worse...better or worse...'

'Have you tried removing the blindfold?'

'When are you going to admit you need glasses?'

NHS/Private Eye Care.

'Now watch our sales increase.'

OMG.

'You say you're having trouble seeing into the future'

'Ha ha... Very funny!'

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

"Well, at least one of us passed the emoji eye exam..."

'But Doc, I am an eagle: I can't be seen wearing glasses... Can't you prescribe contact lenses?'

Stand-Up Comic Eye Exam.

'No thanks. I'm just squinting...'

Optometrist Humor

"She was really disappointed when she found out she was going to an eye doctor and not an iDoctor."

"It turns out our health plan does cover eyeglasses."

"Double vision! Are you sure?"

"Your problem isn't the prescription."

'I'm thinking about laser eye surgery.'

DO IT YOURSELF - Four new jobs we'll all have to do ourselves

National Optometrists Association. O.K., whose idea was it to form a focus group?…

"May I borrow your glasses so I can find my glasses?"

'Throw them back They're not what nine out of ten eye doctor's recommend for dry eyes when stranded on a desert island.'

'Everyone keeps telling me I need my eyes checked, so here I am!'