Eye Contact Expert Pillows

'Before we get started, let's go around the table and practice making eye contact.'

"Well, your posture needs work, but I can't fault you for eye-contact."

Glance Exchange

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

'Oh dear. He's got my eyes.'

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

"All other letters have been disallowed."

'Wait! Wait a minute! Would you hold my glasses?'

'Have you tried removing the blindfold?'

'When are you going to admit you need glasses?'

NHS/Private Eye Care.

OMG.

'Now watch our sales increase.'

'You say you're having trouble seeing into the future'

'Ha ha... Very funny!'

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

"Well, at least one of us passed the emoji eye exam..."

Stand-Up Comic Eye Exam.

'But Doc, I am an eagle: I can't be seen wearing glasses... Can't you prescribe contact lenses?'

"She was really disappointed when she found out she was going to an eye doctor and not an iDoctor."

'No thanks. I'm just squinting...'

Optometrist Humor

"It turns out our health plan does cover eyeglasses."

'Inadvertently, Optometrist Niles Frobe triggers the Global Financial crisis' 'You have a bad case of eyestrain. I want you to keep your eyes off the ball for a few weeks!'

"Double vision! Are you sure?"

'Everyone keeps telling me I need my eyes checked, so here I am!'

"May I borrow your glasses so I can find my glasses?"

After her laser surgery, Alice was able to read barcodes without an optical scanner.

'I'd say your vision is being affected by an arrow through your head, but perhaps you'd like to get a second opinion from an eye specialist.'

"Your problem isn't the prescription."

'I'm thinking about laser eye surgery.'