Eye Contact Expert Pillows

'Before we get started, let's go around the table and practice making eye contact.'

"Well, your posture needs work, but I can't fault you for eye-contact."

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

Glance Exchange

'Oh dear. He's got my eyes.'

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

Love is Blind.

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

"All other letters have been disallowed."

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

'Wait! Wait a minute! Would you hold my glasses?'

'...better or worse...better or worse...better or worse...'

'Have you tried removing the blindfold?'

'When are you going to admit you need glasses?'

NHS/Private Eye Care.

OMG.

'Now watch our sales increase.'

'You say you're having trouble seeing into the future'

'Ha ha... Very funny!'

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

"Well, at least one of us passed the emoji eye exam..."

Stand-Up Comic Eye Exam.

'But Doc, I am an eagle: I can't be seen wearing glasses... Can't you prescribe contact lenses?'

"She was really disappointed when she found out she was going to an eye doctor and not an iDoctor."

'No thanks. I'm just squinting...'

Optometrist Humor

"It turns out our health plan does cover eyeglasses."

'Everyone keeps telling me I need my eyes checked, so here I am!'

National Optometrists Association. O.K., whose idea was it to form a focus group?…

'I'm thinking about laser eye surgery.'

"Double vision! Are you sure?"

After her laser surgery, Alice was able to read barcodes without an optical scanner.

"May I borrow your glasses so I can find my glasses?"

'I'd say your vision is being affected by an arrow through your head, but perhaps you'd like to get a second opinion from an eye specialist.'