Eye-contact Enthusiast Pillows

"Your agent is ready to look you in the eye now."

Glance Exchange

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

'Before we get started, let's go around the table and practice making eye contact.'

'Now watch our sales increase.'

'No cheating'

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

'Throw them back They're not what nine out of ten eye doctor's recommend for dry eyes when stranded on a desert island.'

'Inadvertently, Optometrist Niles Frobe triggers the Global Financial crisis' 'You have a bad case of eyestrain. I want you to keep your eyes off the ball for a few weeks!'

Optician and the PI.

'I'm thinking about laser eye surgery.'

'You're right, Mom. Carrots did give me good eyesight. Now I can spot vegetables I don't like a mile away.'

'Nicely done. You may have double-vision, but it's 20-20, 20-20.'

Optician: 'I can't seem to switch off.'

'You've haed the eye exam. Now buy the t-shirt!'

"He did well with his eye exam but was disappointed to find out that laser surgery won't help out his score when he plays laser tag."

I believe there is something wrong with Tommy: He has perfect eyesight...

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

Media Whore Raceway.

'Guess who I bumped into today? EVERYBODY!'

Same Day Glasses - "They'll be ready in a month. It's not my fault you couldn't read the fine print."

... and I'd suggest you take more frequent breaks from your computer.

Header: Franchising of Optometry Caption: 'With every new pair of glasses you get a cheap plastic toy of a character from the latest kids movie'

"Well, Mr. Swanson, I don't know that I can help you improve your standing in your focus group, but I can definitely check out your visual focus."

"It took all day, but we finally got there."

'Laser Surgery While You Wait.'

"For our market research, each package needs to be individually marked off and put over there."

Budget Opticians.

"E"

"Wrong, wrong, wrong and wrong. I'd like you to see another specialist. His office is closer to the eye chart."

'No you can't take a copy home to prepare for your eye exam next week'

'No thanks, just squinting.'

"P.A.Y.F.O.R.Y.O.U.R.G.L.A.S.S.E.S."

Contacts vs. Glasses

"Miss Jones, get up here and change this eye chart, please!"