Eyesight Enthusiast Pillows

'You're right, Mom. Carrots did give me good eyesight. Now I can spot vegetables I don't like a mile away.'

Optician's bill

Large print e-book.

Hospital Departments

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

'He wasn't doing a bit good, until I changed his glasses.'

Musical Eye Test

'Now watch our sales increase.'

"Office of quality assurance"

'No cheating'

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

'No thanks. I'm just squinting...'

'Throw them back They're not what nine out of ten eye doctor's recommend for dry eyes when stranded on a desert island.'

Optician and the PI.

'I'm thinking about laser eye surgery.'

'Inadvertently, Optometrist Niles Frobe triggers the Global Financial crisis' 'You have a bad case of eyestrain. I want you to keep your eyes off the ball for a few weeks!'

'You've had the eye exam. Now buy the t-shirt!'

'Having trouble getting used to your new bi-focals'

'Those look good on you, They help make your nose look smaller,'

"Your main problem is that instead of a set of complex organs composed of specialized sensory cells and sophisticated nerve structures, you've got two pieces of coal."

Optician: 'I can't seem to switch off.'

'You've haed the eye exam. Now buy the t-shirt!'

"He did well with his eye exam but was disappointed to find out that laser surgery won't help out his score when he plays laser tag."

'Guess who I bumped into today? EVERYBODY!'

I believe there is something wrong with Tommy: He has perfect eyesight...

The Pessimetrist.

"Eye irritation is quite common when Saturn and Jupiter are in this position. It's called conjunctivitis."

You know your getting old when you have to put on your reading glasses to trim your eyebrows...

Same Day Glasses - "They'll be ready in a month. It's not my fault you couldn't read the fine print."

"Am I seeing double? You and your twin are the experts, why don't you two tell me!"

... and I'd suggest you take more frequent breaks from your computer.

George Washington's Birthday

Dr. Harper had a special eye exam chart made for hieroglyphics professor patient.

"Well, Mr. Swanson, I don't know that I can help you improve your standing in your focus group, but I can definitely check out your visual focus."

"I think an IQ test would be more appropriate at this time."