Eyesight Enthusiast Pillows

'You're right, Mom. Carrots did give me good eyesight. Now I can spot vegetables I don't like a mile away.'

Optometrist. How do they look? Great! How do they see?

Optician's bill

Large print e-book.

Hospital Departments

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

'He wasn't doing a bit good, until I changed his glasses.'

Musical Eye Test

'Now watch our sales increase.'

"Office of quality assurance"

'No cheating'

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

'No thanks. I'm just squinting...'

'Inadvertently, Optometrist Niles Frobe triggers the Global Financial crisis' 'You have a bad case of eyestrain. I want you to keep your eyes off the ball for a few weeks!'

'I'm thinking about laser eye surgery.'

'You've had the eye exam. Now buy the t-shirt!'

'Throw them back They're not what nine out of ten eye doctor's recommend for dry eyes when stranded on a desert island.'

Optician and the PI.

'Having trouble getting used to your new bi-focals'

'Those look good on you, They help make your nose look smaller,'

"Your main problem is that instead of a set of complex organs composed of specialized sensory cells and sophisticated nerve structures, you've got two pieces of coal."

'You've haed the eye exam. Now buy the t-shirt!'

Optician: 'I can't seem to switch off.'

'Guess who I bumped into today? EVERYBODY!'

"Eye irritation is quite common when Saturn and Jupiter are in this position. It's called conjunctivitis."

The Pessimetrist.

I believe there is something wrong with Tommy: He has perfect eyesight...

"He did well with his eye exam but was disappointed to find out that laser surgery won't help out his score when he plays laser tag."

You know your getting old when you have to put on your reading glasses to trim your eyebrows...

Same Day Glasses - "They'll be ready in a month. It's not my fault you couldn't read the fine print."

'Don't tell me you weren't speeding back there. When you drove by me, all I could see was a blur.'

George Washington's Birthday

... and I'd suggest you take more frequent breaks from your computer.

"Am I seeing double? You and your twin are the experts, why don't you two tell me!"

'Laser Surgery While You Wait.'