Eye Exam Expert Pillows

"Since you're a lawyer, it will be a bar exam."

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

'Oh dear. He's got my eyes.'

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

Hospital Departments

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

"All other letters have been disallowed."

'Before we get started, let's go around the table and practice making eye contact.'

'Wait! Wait a minute! Would you hold my glasses?'

'Have you tried removing the blindfold?'

'When are you going to admit you need glasses?'

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

NHS/Private Eye Care.

"How many letters can you read?"

OMG.

'Now watch our sales increase.'

'You say you're having trouble seeing into the future'

'Ha ha... Very funny!'

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

"Well, at least one of us passed the emoji eye exam..."

Stand-Up Comic Eye Exam.

'But Doc, I am an eagle: I can't be seen wearing glasses... Can't you prescribe contact lenses?'

'No thanks. I'm just squinting...'

"She was really disappointed when she found out she was going to an eye doctor and not an iDoctor."

Optometrist Humor

"It turns out our health plan does cover eyeglasses."

'I'm thinking about laser eye surgery.'

DO IT YOURSELF - Four new jobs we'll all have to do ourselves

"Double vision! Are you sure?"

'I'd say your vision is being affected by an arrow through your head, but perhaps you'd like to get a second opinion from an eye specialist.'