Eye Examination Pillows

'And you DROVE here, Mr. Hartwelder?'

'Well, well, well...'

Nervous Oral Testing

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

'As you can see, it's a boy and he seems to be doing just fine.'

"All other letters have been disallowed."

Hospital Departments

Medical Examinations.

'When are you going to admit you need glasses?'

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

NHS/Private Eye Care.

"How many letters can you read?"

'No thanks. I'm just squinting...'

What goes up must come down, except for your cholesterol, apparently.

'Everyone keeps telling me I need my eyes checked, so here I am!'

'Nicely done. You may have double-vision, but it's 20-20, 20-20.'

"Ok, now can you read this text from my ex-wife? Because I'm scared to."

"I'm afraid you're developing Guac-loma in

"You should find your eyesight improving once you remove the false eyelashes."

"It took all day, but we finally got there."

Budget Opticians.

Oculist.

',,,and she had the nerve to say I needed new glasses,'

'Now cover the other eye & read the same line.'

Tunnel of Anxiety

'No you can't take a copy home to prepare for your eye exam next week'

"Since you're a lawyer, it will be a bar exam."

"P.A.Y.F.O.R.Y.O.U.R.G.L.A.S.S.E.S."

Medical Treatment.

'Julie,has anyone told you how beautiful you look today? If so send them in for an eye test straight away!'

'There is a mole on your back, but I don't think it's anything you need to worry about.'

Malcolm realised he might need glasses when he realised his adjustable reading poles couldn't be extended any further.

"Emergoplatzkyduble." "Bori gluk!"

'Your eyesight is only 20/400, but your insight is fantastic!'