Eye Exams Pillows

'Great job! Now cover the other eye.'

'Julie,has anyone told you how beautiful you look today? If so send them in for an eye test straight away!'

'These are really cool. I'm taking them off you.'

"Better or worse?"

"Eagle Eye" Eddie would often ace his eye exams from the waiting room.

"Hey - long time no see. . . !"

Bob liked making a big deal out of needing new glasses.

Nervous Oral Testing

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

"All other letters have been disallowed."

Hospital Departments

'When are you going to admit you need glasses?'

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

NHS/Private Eye Care.

"How many letters can you read?"

'No thanks. I'm just squinting...'

'Everyone keeps telling me I need my eyes checked, so here I am!'

Optician: 'I can't seem to switch off.'

'Nicely done. You may have double-vision, but it's 20-20, 20-20.'

"Ok, now can you read this text from my ex-wife? Because I'm scared to."

"I'm afraid you're developing Guac-loma in

"You should find your eyesight improving once you remove the false eyelashes."

Budget Opticians.

"It took all day, but we finally got there."

Oculist.

',,,and she had the nerve to say I needed new glasses,'

'Now cover the other eye & read the same line.'

'No you can't take a copy home to prepare for your eye exam next week'

"P.A.Y.F.O.R.Y.O.U.R.G.L.A.S.S.E.S."

"Since you're a lawyer, it will be a bar exam."

"Emergoplatzkyduble." "Bori gluk!"

Malcolm realised he might need glasses when he realised his adjustable reading poles couldn't be extended any further.

'Your eyesight is only 20/400, but your insight is fantastic!'

'See what I mean? Your eyesight's fine, you just don't look very good.'

'And you DROVE here, Mr. Hartwelder?'