First Eye Exam Pillows

"P.A.Y.F.O.R.Y.O.U.R.G.L.A.S.S.E.S."

Optometrist: Eyes Examined While You Wait.

'I know the answer. I just need a moment to come to grips with it.'

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

"All other letters have been disallowed."

Hospital Departments

'When are you going to admit you need glasses?'

NHS/Private Eye Care.

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

"How many letters can you read?"

'No thanks. I'm just squinting...'

'Everyone keeps telling me I need my eyes checked, so here I am!'

'Nicely done. You may have double-vision, but it's 20-20, 20-20.'

"Ok, now can you read this text from my ex-wife? Because I'm scared to."

"I'm afraid you're developing Guac-loma in

"It took all day, but we finally got there."

Budget Opticians.

Oculist.

"You should find your eyesight improving once you remove the false eyelashes."

',,,and she had the nerve to say I needed new glasses,'

'Now cover the other eye & read the same line.'

'No you can't take a copy home to prepare for your eye exam next week'

"Since you're a lawyer, it will be a bar exam."

'Julie,has anyone told you how beautiful you look today? If so send them in for an eye test straight away!'

Malcolm realised he might need glasses when he realised his adjustable reading poles couldn't be extended any further.

"Emergoplatzkyduble." "Bori gluk!"

'See what I mean? Your eyesight's fine, you just don't look very good.'

'And you DROVE here, Mr. Hartwelder?'

"For God's sake, Mr. Danvers, work with me here!"

"Hey - long time no see. . . !"

"Well, looks like it's time for eyeglasses."

Man reads subliminal message during eye test.

'Do you have this chart in Big Print'

'Guess who I bumped into today? EVERYBODY!'

"Okay, I guess we can turn down the tonometer air pressure just a tad."