Eye Care Professional Pillows

'The smallest line I can read says 'Made In China'.'

'Those look good on you, They help make your nose look smaller,'

'He doesn't like to be called an Optometrist. He prefers the title 'Visionary'!'

"Your vision isn't great. I'm going to recommend getting buttons."

'Sir wants something more than simply 'two, both blue', Norman'

"...And the small print is sponsored by the optician."

"Mr. Finley, I realize that in your business, the bottom line is all that matters, but for your eye exam I need you to read all the lines, please."

"I've been in the desert for a really long time and I've got a bad case of dry eyes. Do you have any eye drops?"

"Is this the sign in for the ophthalmology convention?"

"Better or worse?"

"Hmm, yes sir, I think we may need to review that quote that I gave you over the phone."

'Never mind what big eyes I have. Just get on with the bloody eye test!'

"I can't see them when they're sleeping. I can't see them when they're awake."

'He doesn't like to be called an Optometrist. He prefers the title 'Visionary'!'

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

'Guess who I bumped into today? EVERYBODY!'

"Would you rather be smart or funny?"

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight.

'Oh dear. He's got my eyes.'

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

'They might look sexy and seductive but all I want to do is the crossword.'

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Mracula'.'

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

"Picasso: Post cataract surgery."

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

Man blending in to his chair is reading Optical Illusion Monthly magazine.

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

'No, I'm sorry, Danny. I'm afraid your dad won't be able to shoot laser beams from his eyes after surgery.'

Pirate eye test

'Could you pass me my - oh thankyou.'

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."