Eye Specialist T-Shirts

'No, it doesn't connect to an X-box!'

"You have tiny websites burned onto your retinas!"

"I was at a party and got some avocado dip in my eye..."

Eye Test with Myopic Optician

"I am an ophthalmologist."

Eye Clinic: If you can't read this you've come to the right place.

"Your main problem is that instead of a set of complex organs composed of specialized sensory cells and sophisticated nerve structures, you've got two pieces of coal."

'You are on a sickie you skiving little...'

"Your problem isn't the prescription."

"Stop reading political comments on social media!"

'I'd say your vision is being affected by an arrow through your head, but perhaps you'd like to get a second opinion from an eye specialist.'

'About this new eye test card you're designing.'

'After a close examination I think I know why Tabatha keeps wandering onto busy roads.'

'I'm looking as young as 20 years ago? Honey, promise me not to see an eye specialist for the next 20 years!'

"Double vision! Are you sure?"

"I can't see the wood for the trees."

Opticians

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight.

'They might look sexy and seductive but all I want to do is the crossword.'

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

'Oh dear. He's got my eyes.'

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

Man blending in to his chair is reading Optical Illusion Monthly magazine.

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Mracula'.'

"Picasso: Post cataract surgery."

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

'No, I'm sorry, Danny. I'm afraid your dad won't be able to shoot laser beams from his eyes after surgery.'

Pirate eye test

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

'Could you pass me my - oh thankyou.'