Optometrists Pillows

You should have come in sooner.

"I just got these new glasses from my ophthalmologist – they come with tiny windshield wipers to clean the fog from my mask!"

Cat sitting doing eye test with PUUURRRR on the eye chart.

"Over here."

Short Sighted Driver.

"Thanks to my new glasses, I can enjoy a good old "bird's eye view" again..."

"Okay, I guess we can turn down the tonometer air pressure just a tad."

A Man with poor eyesight has misjudged the Optometrist's door and smashed into the wall

"With the new year approaching, I was hoping you could help with my resolution...."

Doctor with funny glasses to patient: 'We don't need a radiologist. My new x-ray glasses allow me to see right through you.'

Army officer visiting optometrist having a reading test - Boom, kaboom, wham, pow pow, bang bang.

'Umm.... do you have an audio chart available for the visually impaired?'

"I'm getting ready to have my fortune read to see my future, but first I want to make sure I can see clearly."

"You can always tell when we have new patients who need glasses."

Cost of medicine

"I'm always making bad decisions can you correct my foresight."

Opticians Sign With Modern Text Acronyms

A new brand of snacks popular with Optometrists.

After her laser surgery, Alice was able to read barcodes without an optical scanner.

"Undress down to your underwear and have a seat. The optometrist will be in shortly."

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight.

'They might look sexy and seductive but all I want to do is the crossword.'

'Oh dear. He's got my eyes.'

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Mracula'.'

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

Man blending in to his chair is reading Optical Illusion Monthly magazine.

"Picasso: Post cataract surgery."

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

'No, I'm sorry, Danny. I'm afraid your dad won't be able to shoot laser beams from his eyes after surgery.'