Operating Room Wits Gifts

'Let me take a stab at him. He's the over-generous judge who awarded my ex-wife all that alimony.'

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

"Sorry, that's not my table."

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

'These computer repair people certainly take their jobs seriously.'

'In the doctor's defense, there have been no serious post operative complications.'

'You'll be awake during the entire procedure...but no peeking!'

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

'Pardon me, Doctor; but exactly where did you study anaesthesiology?'

"If this isn't successful, the next one is on us."

"I think you may have your gown on back to front."

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

'Say, please.'

Say, aren't you my old shop teacher who said I couldn't cut a straight line to save my life?

Quick! 5-second rule!

'Something needs to be done about the surgery room lights.'

"And it'll stay clamped until you play my Usher CD."

'My patient needs a new kidney. Make any grave mistakes today?'

"...and how about you, Wellington? Does this smell funny to you?"

Surgeon Finds Heart Reading 'Be my Valentine'.

"I'm Dr. Fenton. I'll be performing your microsurgery today."

'I need to reset his internal clock...does anyone have the correct time?'

An aspiring magician as well as a top notch surgeon, Dr.Curmbott always tried the old tablecloth trick after each operation.'

Nurse cautioning a patient

Surgery / Canteen - The perplexities of priorites.

'Where's the first-aid kit?'

'Doctor, I don't think the five-second rule applies to transplant organs.'

"Oh. I know what that organ is! Wait, don't tell me."

'You're wrong...this is brain surgery.'

"I can catch-you can't throw."

The Grim Reaper as a surgical assistant.

"You know that feeling when you walk into a room and can't remember why you're there..."

'Lunch!'

"Hold it. I'd like a second opinion!"

Darn, there's always one piece leftover that doesn't fit anywhere.