Operating Room Wits Gifts

'Let me take a stab at him. He's the over-generous judge who awarded my ex-wife all that alimony.'

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

"Sorry, that's not my table."

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

'These computer repair people certainly take their jobs seriously.'

'In the doctor's defense, there have been no serious post operative complications.'

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

'Pardon me, Doctor; but exactly where did you study anaesthesiology?'

"If this isn't successful, the next one is on us."

'You'll be awake during the entire procedure...but no peeking!'

"I think you may have your gown on back to front."

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

'Say, please.'

'Something needs to be done about the surgery room lights.'

Say, aren't you my old shop teacher who said I couldn't cut a straight line to save my life?

'My patient needs a new kidney. Make any grave mistakes today?'

"...and how about you, Wellington? Does this smell funny to you?"

"I'm Dr. Fenton. I'll be performing your microsurgery today."

Surgeon Finds Heart Reading 'Be my Valentine'.

'I need to reset his internal clock...does anyone have the correct time?'

Nurse cautioning a patient

Surgery / Canteen - The perplexities of priorites.

'Where's the first-aid kit?'

'Doctor, I don't think the five-second rule applies to transplant organs.'

"I can catch-you can't throw."

'You're wrong...this is brain surgery.'

The Grim Reaper as a surgical assistant.

"You know that feeling when you walk into a room and can't remember why you're there..."

"He did it again. Slipped out and replaced himself with a bunch of lumpy pillows."

'Lunch!'

Operating table.