Operating Room Wizard Gifts

Surgery / Canteen - The perplexities of priorites.

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

"Sorry, that's not my table."

An organ flies across the room during an operation - 'Catch it...!'

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

'These computer repair people certainly take their jobs seriously.'

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

'You'll be awake during the entire procedure...but no peeking!'

"If this isn't successful, the next one is on us."

"I think you may have your gown on back to front."

"And it'll stay clamped until you play my Usher CD."

Say, aren't you my old shop teacher who said I couldn't cut a straight line to save my life?

'My patient needs a new kidney. Make any grave mistakes today?'

Surgeon Finds Heart Reading 'Be my Valentine'.

An aspiring magician as well as a top notch surgeon, Dr.Curmbott always tried the old tablecloth trick after each operation.'

Nurse cautioning a patient

'Where's the first-aid kit?'

'Doctor, I don't think the five-second rule applies to transplant organs.'

"Oh. I know what that organ is! Wait, don't tell me."

"I can catch-you can't throw."

'You're wrong...this is brain surgery.'

"You know that feeling when you walk into a room and can't remember why you're there..."

'There's a cake in the Drs. lounge. Happy 5,000th surgery!'

"Hold it. I'd like a second opinion!"

"Curl your fingers to avoid cuts when slicing or chopping...I learned that trick on a TV cooking show!"

'Forgive the interruption, but can the surgeon wait until after he operates on me to play his chess.'

'I'm going to administer the anaesthetic.' - 'Okay.' - 'You might feel a little prick in your hand...' - '...as the bishop said to the-' - 'Men are less irritating under anaesthetic.' - 'Zzz...'

"Okay go ahead, but I say the appendix is on the right."

Wow, is that the new lithotripter? No, it's the new Dolby surround sound system, with extra-tech woofers.

"I'm sorry John, but your back surgery has been placed on back order."

"I just want to say before you go under that I'm super excited as this is my first time."

'I thought we didn't have to know the spleen.'

A Doctor sewing up a Patient's incision with a sewing machine.

"You're doing it wrong."

'Nurse, turn the basketball game up. This is a painful procedure,so I don't want to miss the game due to the patient's screaming.'