Operating Room Staff Gifts

'I need to reset his internal clock...does anyone have the correct time?'

Darn, there's always one piece leftover that doesn't fit anywhere.

Quick! 5-second rule!

'Putter.. er-r.. I mean, scalpel!'

'Something needs to be done about the surgery room lights.'

"I'm Dr. Fenton. I'll be performing your microsurgery today."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

Dancing Doctor

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

"Don't wait up. I'll be working late again tonight."

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

'We tend to favour more traditional anaesthetic techniques here.'

'Sorry, staff shortage.'

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

An organ flies across the room during an operation - 'Catch it...!'

"Nurse, when I asked you to make the patient more comfortable I just meant plump up his pillows!"

"This will be a tricky operation."

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

'I do need your bed, Mr. Davies, for me, I'm shattered after working twenty-six hours non stop.'

'I told you not to complain about the hospital food!'

'It's not easy being fabulous and caretaking.'

Evolving Changes in Medical Lingo

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

'Oh, well... Accidents will happen.'