Operating Room Tactician Gifts

'So then the linebacker yells back at this guy: 'Oh yeah? Well, next play, I'm gonna cram the ball...' Wait! I got it.'

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

"Sorry, that's not my table."

An organ flies across the room during an operation - 'Catch it...!'

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

'These computer repair people certainly take their jobs seriously.'

'In the doctor's defense, there have been no serious post operative complications.'

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

"If this isn't successful, the next one is on us."

'You'll be awake during the entire procedure...but no peeking!'

"I think you may have your gown on back to front."

"And it'll stay clamped until you play my Usher CD."

Say, aren't you my old shop teacher who said I couldn't cut a straight line to save my life?

'Something needs to be done about the surgery room lights.'

Quick! 5-second rule!

'My patient needs a new kidney. Make any grave mistakes today?'

"Good?"

"I'm Dr. Fenton. I'll be performing your microsurgery today."

Surgeon Finds Heart Reading 'Be my Valentine'.

'I need to reset his internal clock...does anyone have the correct time?'

An aspiring magician as well as a top notch surgeon, Dr.Curmbott always tried the old tablecloth trick after each operation.'

Nurse cautioning a patient

'Where's the first-aid kit?'

"Oh, here's the problem. He's got a doohickey on his thingamabob."

'Doctor, I don't think the five-second rule applies to transplant organs.'

"Oh. I know what that organ is! Wait, don't tell me."

"I can catch-you can't throw."

'You're wrong...this is brain surgery.'

"You know that feeling when you walk into a room and can't remember why you're there..."

'There's a cake in the Drs. lounge. Happy 5,000th surgery!'

Darn, there's always one piece leftover that doesn't fit anywhere.

Wait a minute

A heart flies out during an operation.

"Curl your fingers to avoid cuts when slicing or chopping...I learned that trick on a TV cooking show!"