Operating Room Ace Gifts

'In the doctor's defense, there have been no serious post operative complications.'

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

"Sorry, that's not my table."

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

'These computer repair people certainly take their jobs seriously.'

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

'You'll be awake during the entire procedure...but no peeking!'

"If this isn't successful, the next one is on us."

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

"I think you may have your gown on back to front."

'Something needs to be done about the surgery room lights.'

Say, aren't you my old shop teacher who said I couldn't cut a straight line to save my life?

'My patient needs a new kidney. Make any grave mistakes today?'

"I'm Dr. Fenton. I'll be performing your microsurgery today."

Surgeon Finds Heart Reading 'Be my Valentine'.

'I need to reset his internal clock...does anyone have the correct time?'

Nurse cautioning a patient

'Where's the first-aid kit?'

"Oh, here's the problem. He's got a doohickey on his thingamabob."

'Doctor, I don't think the five-second rule applies to transplant organs.'

'You're wrong...this is brain surgery.'

"I can catch-you can't throw."

"You know that feeling when you walk into a room and can't remember why you're there..."

"Curl your fingers to avoid cuts when slicing or chopping...I learned that trick on a TV cooking show!"

'There's a cake in the Drs. lounge. Happy 5,000th surgery!'

'So then the linebacker yells back at this guy: 'Oh yeah? Well, next play, I'm gonna cram the ball...' Wait! I got it.'

"He did it again. Slipped out and replaced himself with a bunch of lumpy pillows."

"Hold it. I'd like a second opinion!"

A heart flies out during an operation.