Operating Room Fan Gifts

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

'These computer repair people certainly take their jobs seriously.'

How would Madam like to pay?

"If this isn't successful, the next one is on us."

'You'll be awake during the entire procedure...but no peeking!'

"That's why safety boots are so important. . . you see? Eddie's feet have stayed perfectly dry."

Surgery Instructions.

Say, aren't you my old shop teacher who said I couldn't cut a straight line to save my life?

"3:14 p.m. Suspect drives to lakeside resort. Rents rowboat under false name. Tosses evidence into... wait, how do I tell anyone?" Topper: Undercover police dog

'My patient needs a new kidney. Make any grave mistakes today?'

Sir Oliver Murgatroyd

'I havn't finished last years Marathon yet...'

'I've got a good idea! Let's take everything out and start from scratch.'

Heart bypass in progress.

Surgery / Canteen - The perplexities of priorites.

“Sarge, could you please stop trying to hold my hand!”

'Doctor, I don't think the five-second rule applies to transplant organs.'

'You're wrong...this is brain surgery.'

A scared man who is about to have surgery performed by a robot.

'Farkleson, you need a vacation — you've been lurking too hard.'

'I'm going to administer the anaesthetic.' - 'Okay.' - 'You might feel a little prick in your hand...' - '...as the bishop said to the-' - 'Men are less irritating under anaesthetic.' - 'Zzz...'

"Okay go ahead, but I say the appendix is on the right."

Wow, is that the new lithotripter? No, it's the new Dolby surround sound system, with extra-tech woofers.

"I just want to say before you go under that I'm super excited as this is my first time."

Private Toilet/Public Toilet.

Episcopalian Flue Jab.

"No, day trading hasn't interfered with my regular practice at all. In fact, I'm preparing to make a trade now."

"We just can't dumb it down any more Sir."

'That's me they're paging. I've got to go move my car. Be back in 20 minutes.'

"Hey Anesthesiologist! Let's pay attention!"

High scores for Surgeon

Elevator Out Of Order