Opening A Retail Store T-Shirts

"Can I talk to someone who knows something?"

"How do you make any money?"

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

"This is our soft opening."

Important Food Groups

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

"How fresh is the calamari?"

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

Garlic Free Zone.

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

"Fresh pepper spray?"

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

Local food for local consumption

Brew 'N' Brouhaha

'Cooking'

"You'll love this model, sir! You won't have to miss any of the sports action when you go for a beer!"

"Check out this new store."

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

Books / Coffee table books

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

Florist "Say it with cacti"

'Running your own business means being self-made, unfortunately it also means finding out what you're made of!'

Kentucky Fried Horse

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

'House wine?'

Special! Continental breakfast...$3.99: 'What continent is this suppose to represent - Antarctica!'

'Order fast, folks - the prices have an expiration date.'