Opening A Hardware Store T-Shirts

Hardware. You're right, maybe we should sell hammers by the "pound."

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

Important Food Groups

Sale! Weed Whackers

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

Axle greaseMarine greaseElbow grease .

"Check out this new store."

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

"Can I talk to someone who knows something?"

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'Running your own business means being self-made, unfortunately it also means finding out what you're made of!'

'Where do you keep the elbow grease?'

and this little light starts blinking when your computer becomes obsolete

Witch Hardware

New! Paint Bombs: 'Light the wick, and you have paint that's extremely easy to apply!'

"Basically, I'm looking for a beer can holder with a mower built around it."

'Where do you keep the elbow-grease?'

Men's Prayer Group.

Blackjack: free lemonade!

'We're starting to build our own house. How much is this two by four?'

'How do I qualify for the 'Preferred Customer Discount' you're advertising?' 'Do you have a pulse?'

'It's an S.E.C. approved GPS system...'

Capt. Ahab's landlocked brother Morab, searching for the white elephant.

"That's closer to the shade of taupe I want, but it's still not quite right!"

"I never expected you to pay through the nose."

'Look, we have 7 and we have 5 . . . I make that 75 �' the number of your house!'

Bob's DIY Store

"So long, Mr Schwartz. I'm leaving. Nowadays, software's where it's at."

"Alfresco Plumbing & Hardware Supplies"

'Do you have any duck tape?'

Do It Yourself Stores: Help Wanted

'I'd like you to meet the saw, the hammer and, well, you know the drill.'

Stud Finders: 'These don't even work!'