Hardware Store Enthusiast T-Shirts

'I'd like you to meet the saw, the hammer and, well, you know the drill.'

"He's having a hard time finding work."

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

Witch Hardware

"Basically, I'm looking for a beer can holder with a mower built around it."

'I know it's a nuisance, but they came as part of the home cinema package.'

'Computers' 'Hardware' 'Software'

'He may not be accurate but he's resourceful'

'Useful Drywall Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Drywall Screws.'

How the cords get all tangles up when you're away.

Female nail has been hammered in. Says to male nail: 'Sorry, I have a headache.'

'Do you have any duck tape?'

'It's a pop-up book about how ebooks are killing publishing.'

"So long, Mr Schwartz. I'm leaving. Nowadays, software's where it's at."

"Alfresco Plumbing & Hardware Supplies"

"I will place this broken phone charger in the 'man' drawer. Where in six months time, it will magically fix itself."

"You've got to compress it because my email account is limited to 3MB."

Ironmongers

"You fix it by buying a new one."

Power and the Glory tools

A man's whole body is twisted after using a power drill.

'Oh, we're just here so Rusty can shop around for a new fence to dig under.'

'Mary finally solved the blinking clock problem by putting black tape over it.'

"Let's see if I can find you something sexy for Valentine's Day."

To continue with tech support, you must be in front of your computer and have a soldering iron, a voltmeter and a circuit tester available.

Frankenstein D.I.Y.

Hardware Store: Drone Swatter

"When it comes to blowing leaves around uselessly and creating an insane amount of noise, this model can't be beat."

Say it with Flowers. Say it with power tools.