Hardware Store Hero T-Shirts

Nasty Accident.

Gimme 400 rolls of duct tape.

"He's having a hard time finding work."

Sale! Weed Whackers

Axle greaseMarine greaseElbow grease .

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'Where do you keep the elbow grease?'

'Uh oh. I can see another few hundred will be added to your bid.'

"Basically, I'm looking for a beer can holder with a mower built around it."

Witch Hardware

Hardware. You're right, maybe we should sell hammers by the "pound."

New! Paint Bombs: 'Light the wick, and you have paint that's extremely easy to apply!'

'Where do you keep the elbow-grease?'

"I'm looking for a Father's Day gift. What kind of wrench says 'I love you'?"

'Computers' 'Hardware' 'Software'

'We're starting to build our own house. How much is this two by four?'

Men's Prayer Group.

The six stages of hard drive death and dying.

'Useful Drywall Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Drywall Screws.'

Female nail has been hammered in. Says to male nail: 'Sorry, I have a headache.'

"That's closer to the shade of taupe I want, but it's still not quite right!"

'Do you have any duck tape?'

Bob's DIY Store

'Look, we have 7 and we have 5 . . . I make that 75 �' the number of your house!'

"So long, Mr Schwartz. I'm leaving. Nowadays, software's where it's at."

"Alfresco Plumbing & Hardware Supplies"

Do It Yourself Stores: Help Wanted

'I'd like you to meet the saw, the hammer and, well, you know the drill.'

'Let's watch 'Remember the Tightens!'' 'No! I want to watch 'I Love Loosey!''

Stud Finders: 'These don't even work!'

"Your orders are burning up the system. I love it!"

Hardware - "Where do you keep the elbow grease?"

Hardware Store. Do you have any fans? No, I'm not all that popular.

Pork Lift

Power and the Glory tools