Hardware Store Hero Mugs

Nasty Accident.

Gimme 400 rolls of duct tape.

"He's having a hard time finding work."

Sale! Weed Whackers

Axle greaseMarine greaseElbow grease .

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'Uh oh. I can see another few hundred will be added to your bid.'

'Where do you keep the elbow grease?'

New! Paint Bombs: 'Light the wick, and you have paint that's extremely easy to apply!'

"Basically, I'm looking for a beer can holder with a mower built around it."

Witch Hardware

'Where do you keep the elbow-grease?'

"I'm looking for a Father's Day gift. What kind of wrench says 'I love you'?"

'Computers' 'Hardware' 'Software'

Men's Prayer Group.

'We're starting to build our own house. How much is this two by four?'

The six stages of hard drive death and dying.

'Useful Drywall Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Drywall Screws.'

Bob's DIY Store

"That's closer to the shade of taupe I want, but it's still not quite right!"

"Alfresco Plumbing & Hardware Supplies"

'Look, we have 7 and we have 5 . . . I make that 75 �' the number of your house!'

"So long, Mr Schwartz. I'm leaving. Nowadays, software's where it's at."

'Do you have any duck tape?'

Female nail has been hammered in. Says to male nail: 'Sorry, I have a headache.'

Do It Yourself Stores: Help Wanted

'I'd like you to meet the saw, the hammer and, well, you know the drill.'

Pork Lift

Hardware - "Where do you keep the elbow grease?"

"Your orders are burning up the system. I love it!"

Power and the Glory tools

'Oh, we're just here so Rusty can shop around for a new fence to dig under.'

'It covers well enough, but I found the recommended drying time to be completely inadequate.'