Hardware Store Owner Mugs

"Alfresco Plumbing & Hardware Supplies"

"So long, Mr Schwartz. I'm leaving. Nowadays, software's where it's at."

Hardware. You're right, maybe we should sell hammers by the "pound."

Hardware Store: Drone Swatter

Acid and solvents R Us

Witch Hardware

'This is the latest in brooms. It has a satellite guidance system.'

'Mister Kellerman, of Kellerman's Hardware!'

'My dad says I need to apply some elbow grease.'

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

Cut Price

Sale! Weed Whackers

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

Axle greaseMarine greaseElbow grease .

'Don't worry. I'm not charging you for the extra lettering.'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

"Can I talk to someone who knows something?"

"It was a mom-and-pop, but we inherited it."

'Where do you keep the elbow grease?'

"Basically, I'm looking for a beer can holder with a mower built around it."

New! Paint Bombs: 'Light the wick, and you have paint that's extremely easy to apply!'

'Where do you keep the elbow-grease?'

'Uh-oh.'

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

It's an I-O-Ewe.

"You never know what will catch on!"

Men's Prayer Group.

'We're starting to build our own house. How much is this two by four?'

'It's an S.E.C. approved GPS system...'

'Look, we have 7 and we have 5 . . . I make that 75 �' the number of your house!'

'Do you have any duck tape?'

Joan of Arch

Bob's DIY Store

Bob tries to cash in on Hollywood's success.

"That's closer to the shade of taupe I want, but it's still not quite right!"