Hardware Fanatic T-Shirts

'Mister Kellerman, of Kellerman's Hardware!'

"He's having a hard time finding work."

Honey remember what I said about feeding the birds.

Useless add-ons.

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

Backlash industries: makers of the macro-chip, bigger, slower..and it even makes mistakes

"It's a GPS for busy executive mom. It tells you if your coming or going and when you'll get there!"

"I'm being punished. I have to stay out of Wi-Fi range for an hour."

"They found a defect in the new chip. Looks like someone was asleep at the itty-bitty, teeny-weeny switch."

'He may not be accurate but he's resourceful'

'Computers' 'Hardware' 'Software'

"It's called being preemptive."

"What, another live person?! Listen, do you have any computers over there I can speak with?"

'It's an old work injury.'

'Useful Drywall Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Drywall Screws.'

"I will place this broken phone charger in the 'man' drawer. Where in six months time, it will magically fix itself."

Female nail has been hammered in. Says to male nail: 'Sorry, I have a headache.'

"I looks like a Martian dropped their phone. And by the size of it, I hope they're friendly."

"Someone just pinched my mobile phone"

'I'd like you to meet the saw, the hammer and, well, you know the drill.'

"You've got to compress it because my email account is limited to 3MB."

Ironmongers

"You fix it by buying a new one."

Power and the Glory tools

'How many more days until we let them know it's just a joke?'

A man's whole body is twisted after using a power drill.

"Relax, the chip shortage has nothing to do with the potato variety."

'Mary finally solved the blinking clock problem by putting black tape over it.'

Fun and games with wires.

'That one, and that one, and that one, and. . .'

To continue with tech support, you must be in front of your computer and have a soldering iron, a voltmeter and a circuit tester available.