Opening A New Hotel Gifts

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

"How fresh is the calamari?"

Shaken not stirred

"I come here for the pepper."

"This is our soft opening."

Hashimoto's Restaurant - Sushi Like Mother Used to Make!

There is nothing more satisfying that peeling the film off a brand new building.

Garlic Free Zone.

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

"Fresh pepper spray?"

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

"Check out this new store."

American style Greek cafe.

'Cooking'

Local food for local consumption

Ghostbasters 3

"Tracy Island offers palatial splendour in the safest of environments. Your beds are unmade because this is Tracy Emin Island."

Sm. Pepperoni & Mushroom Cloud

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

'Running your own business means being self-made, unfortunately it also means finding out what you're made of!'

Florist "Say it with cacti"

Kentucky Fried Horse

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'