Hotel Grand Opening Gifts

'I see Wavecrest's changed hands...'

Shaken not stirred

"I come here for the pepper."

There is nothing more satisfying that peeling the film off a brand new building.

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

Ghostbasters 3

Sm. Pepperoni & Mushroom Cloud

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

"The mint on the pillow was nice, but I'd prefer a chocolate fudge brownie."

No early morning tea past this landing

Biliard Enthusiast

How Patrick Moore chooses a hotel..."Hmmm four stars".

Future site of Que Sera Sera.

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

"Strictly organic ingredients section or Russian roulette with genetically modified foods section?"

'You'll love this place - the best fish restaurant in London.'

'No luggage.'

Carpet

Devil's Kitchen - "This soup is cold!"

'Haven't you something a little more of an OLDER vintage?'

'A room with double beds, please.'

'Hello, Room Service?'

'My wife isn't really a morning person.'

Hard Rock Cafe.

"A double room with twin minibars, please!"

"Pipe sludge or overpriced sparkling?"

I'm sorry, sir, but the fact-checkers convention isn't until next week. Hotel.

'I thought we were going to dine with Al Frasco!'

'This room is a tad small but cozy.'

'We only have rooms with real teeth left!'

Milly's Home-Style Restaurant