Hotel Grand Opening T-Shirts

'I see Wavecrest's changed hands...'

"I come here for the pepper."

Shaken not stirred

There is nothing more satisfying that peeling the film off a brand new building.

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

Sm. Pepperoni & Mushroom Cloud

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

Ghostbasters 3

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

"The mint on the pillow was nice, but I'd prefer a chocolate fudge brownie."

Biliard Enthusiast

No early morning tea past this landing

How Patrick Moore chooses a hotel..."Hmmm four stars".

Future site of Que Sera Sera.

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

"Strictly organic ingredients section or Russian roulette with genetically modified foods section?"

Carpet

'A room with double beds, please.'

'Haven't you something a little more of an OLDER vintage?'

'No luggage.'

Devil's Kitchen - "This soup is cold!"

'You'll love this place - the best fish restaurant in London.'

'Hello, Room Service?'

'I thought we were going to dine with Al Frasco!'

'My wife isn't really a morning person.'

Milly's Home-Style Restaurant

"Pipe sludge or overpriced sparkling?"

'We only have rooms with real teeth left!'

'This room is a tad small but cozy.'

"I couldn't find the giant scissors."