Opening A Gallery Gifts

"You rarely see this kind of joy for under ten thousand."

"The moment I saw this, my soul cried out that it could triple in value."

Art Gallery.

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"Personally, I'm a doer."

Misunderstood artist

Painting taking root...

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

Rodin's Browser

"Now this I get."

M.C. Escher Exhibit Upstairs.

"Tracy Island offers palatial splendour in the safest of environments. Your beds are unmade because this is Tracy Emin Island."

The Cremaster Cycle

"By 'genius' do they mean the artist or the marketing department?"

Sold! For £42,000 to the... No wait - it's the wrong way round!

'How can they call it modern art when it's 100 year's old?'

Morning and Afternoon Paintings

'I agree, this artist will go far and he should start right now!'

"I'm not an Antony Gormley, I am Antony Gormley."

Private Viewing

'You're no Pollock.'

The less one gets it, the more it's art.

"Do I need to know this stuff to get into medical school?"

Francoise Gilot

Instant art

"I can deal with the conceptual art and electronic music, but what are these hors d'oeuvres supposed to be."

"It's a great work!"

'This statue is based on an earlier work of mine from the pre-kindergarten era.'

Understanding art.

Jackson Pollock - "Oh no! Someone's thrown paint all over it!"

"While, yes, I could produce those strokes, I lack the context to position an image in the ongoing conversation of contemporary art as enclosed by capitalist forces."

Tracey Emin's Bed

'It wasn't until Picasso realzed he was earning $2,856 per hour that he began painting all night.'