New Gallery Opening Gifts

'This statue is based on an earlier work of mine from the pre-kindergarten era.'

Private Viewing

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

Painting taking root...

Misunderstood artist

"Me? How about you go closer and read the plaque!"

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

"Now this I get."

"Tracy Island offers palatial splendour in the safest of environments. Your beds are unmade because this is Tracy Emin Island."

Art Gallery.

M.C. Escher Exhibit Upstairs.

I painted them all from memory.

Curators at the Louvre Museum would regret approving the installation of a work on a wall behind the Mona Lisa.

"I read 'Art News.'"

Art of Surviving

Leaves falling out of a painting.

"I've just got this sudden craving for pizza."

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

'I agree, this artist will go far and he should start right now!'

"Outré or simply bad?"

Dogs looking at a fire hydrant in an art gallery.

"I can deal with the conceptual art and electronic music, but what are these hors d'oeuvres supposed to be."

"Hmmm...I wonder what the artist is trying to say...?"

Instant art

Congratulations! - You have been nominated for the Turner Prize...

"An overload -- even this is beginning to look like Kitsch."

'You're no Pollock.'

"You don't look a day over 30,000."

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

"It's a cautionary tale about why we shouldn't cut arts funding in schools."

Art gallery: 'I think it's lovely.'

Boy copying abstract artwork in an art gallery.